Sunday, August 29, 2010

Walt Disney World of the mid-90s

[ Or Cheesy Hip Hop and Why (Oh Lord WHY!) it Was Required]

I stumbled upon this tonight and I decided after a dozen half written and unposted entries I needed to finally use this thing again.

Ah the 90s, a more innocent time when Alien's terrorized, crystals stood, glimmering before Spaceship Earth in all their glory, and apparently children were drawn to theme parks because Joan Collins was paying a visit...

... Yes, it was a time of conflicting hideousness and wonderful and a time that resulted in a often criticized but I believe necessary makeover of Tomorrowland ( Tomorrowland 95! It sounds so hip and so fresh,) one of my favourite now defunct attractions, ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, and Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, which fleshed out MGM so well ( yes, I do still remember when it was the Great Movie ride, Backlot Tour, MuppetVision 3D, and Star Tours, and then well, hmm, I guess we could head over to the Animation Courtyard since it is only 10am.) I just realized that I sadly still think of Tower of Terror as a new attraction; this makes me feel horrifically old.

The atrocities that were committed during this time were created the way most atrocities are, in the name of being hip, and fresh, and drawing people for that one year because, look, LOOK! our castle looks like a cake, isn't that slamming? Examples of such horrors are as follows: the Mickey Mania Parade [if you don't recall it, you are lucky, think skateboarders in primary coloured Zubaz pants and rap/house music about Mickey being rad (or some other term overused by my favourite heroes on the half-shell,)] videos like the one above that contained some rappers making "squeaky clean" Mickey Mouse related remixes for park commercials, and of course, the closing of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ( without this ride's watery ambiance Fantasyland has become too blacktop-esque, and I still wish they had plussed it rather than pulled it out altogether.)

I know mourning 20,000 Leagues is silly; it was a low draw attraction, and it has been preserved in Disneyland, sort of, and said ambiance will likely return with the water features that are planned in the current design of the Fantasyland Expansion, but mourn it I do, despite this.

Anyway, that wraps up this voyage into the dangerous wilds of the mid-1990s, tune in next week (same mouse time, same mouse place) when we will journey into the seedy underbelly of Toontown and learn just what keeps our 2D friends so jolly.

It's a dirty job, that no one really needs to do, unless said person is me, avoiding my first paper of the term.

Edit: For those who would like to inflict the awful that was the Mickey Mania Parade on themselves you can find a very good video of it here:

Don't click that link, no one is that masochistic.

No, I mean it, really don't.
[You did it, didn't you. What was that? And why, why were there weird creepy clown faced blow up Mickeys waddling about in the middle?] Imagine, I saw that in person, and I was only a child man, ONLY A CHILD! Well, I wasn't after that, a parade like that, it changes you!

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